windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's shark week go big or go home
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
