I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
