Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Miss_me_bitch hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(585): View more from New York

My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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(913): View more from Kansas

So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone

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