Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize