An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
