you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
