All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
