At least make sure they are 18
Why
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
