good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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