Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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