Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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