By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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