Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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