I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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