Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
