Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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