Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
