i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize