i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize