That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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