Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
