doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
