i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
