apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
