She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
