so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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