so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
