It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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