Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
