I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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