Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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