I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
