If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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