Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
