I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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