You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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