Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize