Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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