is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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