Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
