nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
