Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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