coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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