So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
