By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
