My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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