I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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