Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
