have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
