I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
