woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
