One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
