I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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