idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
