Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
