you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize