How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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