Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize