Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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