Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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